instead of bugle mcu peter parker sells his pictures to/works for buzzfeed. all his articles about spiderman are titled like ‘Insanely Cool And Relevant Spider-Man Helps Out At Local Soup Kitchen’ and ‘Awesomely Powerful And Suave Vigilante Spider-Man Just Stopped A Crime Ring From Stealing All Of Tony Stark’s Shit’ and ‘Beloved Sweetheart And Icon Spider-Man Saved An Old Lady So She Bought Him A Churro (Pics Will Make Your Heart MELT!!) and ‘Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Is A Thousand Times Cooler Than The Queens Police Department’, stuff along those lines. He also makes Which Avenger Are You quizzes, and one time he was mad at Tony so he made a poll asking if Spider-Man or Iron Man were cooler, but he rigged it so no matter what the actual voting outcome it would always say 0% voted for Iron Man.
‘Opinion: The Green Goblin Is A Loser And Spider-Man Could Easily End Him If He Wasn’t Such A Respectable And Peaceful Dude’
‘PROOF That Tony Stark Thinks Spider-Man Is The Greatest!!’ and it’s just a bunch of pictures that Peter completely staged and Tony clearly didn’t realize there was a camera on him. He’s smiling at the kid all proudly or whatever and Spider-Man is just fucking thumbs-uping into the camera lol
‘Devastatingly Smart And Funny Spider-Man Gets The Hulk To Calm Down With Only A Few Great Jokes!’
‘Um, Spider-Man Just Totally Saved The Entire City From A Genetically Modified Super Villain, And We’re Living For It.’
‘Okay- We Really Need To Start Appreciating Doctor Strange’ the picture featured in the article is Spider-Man trying to get Strange to fist bump and Strange looking annoyed
pictures of Spider-Man hanging around parades and protests and riots trying to make sure no one gets hurt
‘INCREDIBLE Spider-Man Webbed Up Falcon And The Winter Soldier Like It Was Nothing!’
‘Spider-Man Just Called Doc Ock A Little Bitch In The Middle Of A Fight, And It Was Iconic’
‘Friend To All! Spider-Man Saves An Adorable Cat From A Burning Building!’
‘Everyone’s Favorite Web-Slinger Just Gave A Lost Little Girl The COOLEST Ride Home!’
I can’t stop thinking about this lmao someone help me
The articles pick up some steam and start getting popular and he worries that people will suspect he’s Spider-Man because of how many pictures he gets and all the stuff he writes about himself
Instead, people start suspecting he’s got the worlds biggest crush on Spider-Man
Superhero Conspiracy Bloggers™ who also totally believe Peter has a crush on Spider-Man get wind that Peter is Tony’s intern.
Tony thinks this is a hilarious turn of events, and as revenge for the ‘No One Likes Iron Man’ poll, he tweets out that he’s been trying to set up Peter and Spidey for months now, but “they’re both so shy!”
The internet goes wild.
Michelle, completely aware of Peter’s identity, publishes her own article entitled: ’Spider-Man: PLEASE DATE MY BEST FRIEND’. It trends for three days and Ned has a copy of it printed out and framed.
Harry Osborn, completely unaware of the comedy in this situation, gets drunk and posts a whole angry rant on his snapchat about how Peter can do ‘SO much better’ than the vigilante wall crawler
ginny’s laughter comes in bubbles, prolonged just the right amount and always ending with a joke of her own. her eyes glow and flicker and crinkle and her lips stay in an upturned spot, enticing another joke to bring back the laughs. and, when it comes, she throws her head back and lets out a sound of sunshine and genuineness and something so infectious it leaves the room ablaze and grinning.
luna’s laughter is uncontrollable, starting and staying and ending at the same level. she doesn’t mind people seeing her shake with the glee or swing her feet as she recalls the initial joke so fondly it makes her toes dance in their mismatched shoes. she always comments on how funny what happened was and stays laughing for minutes after everyone else has stopped.
harry’s laughter is contained, small and bumbling and awkward but endlessly happy. he’s grown accustomed to the security that has surrounded him since he first arrived at hogwarts, yet still keeps his voice quiet, hesitant to draw more attention to himself. he doesn’t mind much because, as he watches his friends laugh with him and around him, it keeps the smile on his face longer than anyone else.
ron’s laughter is loud, fits and bursts that leave his stomach aching and his cheeks sore. he laughs so hard he snorts, causing him to laugh harder until he has tears in his eyes and he’s banging his hands on a desk or smacking his legs or joyously hitting anyone near him (mainly harry, who swats ron’s hands away with a brotherly irritation and affection). his laughter alone lights rooms and makes passersby stifle chuckles as he doubles over and catches his breath.
hermione’s laughter is shy, short giggles and breathy smiles that she can’t keep hidden no matter how hard she tries. she always looks down, shakes her head, appreciates the humor no matter how begrudging her acceptance of the chaotic flow of giggles is. when she laughs, it leaves everyone around her feeling mystified and accomplished and important. it leaves her feeling grateful and light and whole.
IM CRYING OKAY JUST IMAGINE tony trying to explain the basics of roleplaying in bed to steve.
“so it’s us playing out scenes that might not normally happen?” steve asks.
tony nods, happy that steve is getting it. “exactly.”
after a brief silence, steve nods too. “okay. i think i have an idea,” he says.
“ooooh,” tony says, audibly excited, “you wanna surprise me with it tonight?”
so tony also talks him through how they can call it off if either of them want to stop at any time, and they set up to do it that night.
tony’s in the lab when jarvis alerts him that steve is coming. tony grins to himself, excited, but manages to keep working until he hears the door open and steve’s quiet footsteps. then out of nowhere he’s hoisted into a pair of strong arms.
“oh, my,” tony says, feigning demureness. “how forward of you, cap.”
but steve doesn’t talk all the way back up to tony’s bedroom.
“so, what’s going on, hm?” tony purrs when steve finally drapes him on the bed.
steve peels back the covers. joins him. and…pulls the covers back over them. and steve draws him close and pats his waist and says, “night, tony.”
“wait what,” tony says, smushed against steve’s chest, because neither of them are even naked.
“we’re roleplaying going to sleep on time,” steve says. “night, tony.”
tony’s too awed by his boyfriend’s tactics to kick him out of bed.
Steve’s Greatest Hits Of Roleplaying also include::
—Look at Us Eating Healthy Meals at Reasonable Times.
—What If We Get Kinky and Switch Coffee to Decaf
—Handcuffing Tony to the Bed Because He Was Too Reckless Yesterday and Needs to Sit This One Out
—Playing Doctor but Actually Taking You To the Doctor Because Tony You’ve Been Sick for a Week and I’m Not Accepting More Snotty Kisses and Wheezing Sex Noises
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