I like to think that Rita Skeeter totally lost whatever renown she had after the war and so Harry and Ginny and the others like to pick up her stories for fun without worrying about the effect it’ll have on their image? Like Harry just idly turns a page every morning and goes, “Oh, we’re getting a divorce.”
And Ginny yawns as she fetches two coffee mugs and says, “Is it because I’m snogging Neville?”
“No,” says Harry, “it’s because I’m snogging Neville.”
And Ginny slams down her mug and says, “Goddamnit, Harry, let me have my affair in peace, would you?”They have this sort of conversation in public, sometimes. Especially in places (the Leaky Cauldron, the Three Broomsticks, etc) where they know that it’ll get back to Skeeter.
I like to imagine that the kids get in on it as well. Like Albus and Scorpius can be over heard in the Great Hall with the latest Potter Family gossip
“Did you hear that your dad is leaving your mum for my father?”
“I thought mum was leaving dad for your mum, Scorp?”
“No that was last week. Your mum is with your aunt Luna right now.”
“Ah, my mistake. Pass the pumpkin juice.”
Please tell me that the cursed child was just another bullshit story that the kids fed to her.
New head-canon: Rita Skeeter wrote The Cursed Child.
I’ve been ignoring this post in my notifs for ages but this is now the only explanation for the Cursed Child that I will accept.
Tag: honestly
listen… harry potter is the most savage person in the entire series like this kid decimates people with one comeback can you imagine james potter would have been so proud like
- “they stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at stonewall. want to come upstairs and practice?” "no, thanks. the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it – it might be sick.” fucking eleven year old harry!! already a lil mini savage!!!!!
“listening to the news! again?“ "well, it changes every day, you see” my boy!!! mouthing off to the dursleys!! who gives a fuck?? not harry potter
“’congratulations, harry! i wonder if you could give me a quick word? how you felt facing that dragon? how do you feel now about the fairness of the scoring?’ ‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘goodbye!’” holy fuck!! when harry potter literally does not give a shit anymore and jk rowling knows it and literally!!! canonically!!! makes him a savage harry is literally savage it says it right there in the goblet of fire
“it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it.” mouthing off to the minister of magic damn harry authority who????? what??? respecting your elders??? harry doesn’t give a shit!!!!
- “sure you can manage that broom, potter? got plenty of special features, hasn’t it? shame it doesn’t come with a parachute – in case you get too near a dementor.“
“pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy, then it could catch the snitch for you.” oh shit!!!! legit how many times do u think malfoy literally cried to his dad because harry burned him!!!! where’s the aloe vera!!!!
“yes, sir.“ "there’s no need to call me ‘sir’ professor.” oh fucking shit!!!! did you think i was gonna forget this!!! the holy grail of harry being savage as fuck oh my god!!!! james potter is fucking cheering in heaven!!!! he made a cake to commemorate this moment!!!! three years later lily’s chillin and james comes up and he’s like “holy fuck lil remember that one time harry was like ‘no need to call me sir professor’ and snape like flipped shit!!! that was fucking awesome” and lily is like “shut the fuck up we get it your son is a savage”
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