Tag: text

cliffnotesofanerd:

anifanatical:

deliverusfromsburb:

I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I’d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it’s at. 

– I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat

– vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room

– my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor

– it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here

– hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model

– hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim

– variations of the above

– I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity

– all our friends are drunk

– it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost

– we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for

– humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)

– we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful

– GROUP PROJECT

#both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be  #waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late  #you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole  #we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window  #you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking (little-smartass)

– Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building

– This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals

– I found your USB drive still in the computer

– I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria

– You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows

– We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances

– We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class

– You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf

– Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?

– You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs

– You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry

– What are you doing at this table at the career fair

– Waiting for office hours

– I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today

– Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party

– You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.

– We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop

– You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline

queenklu:

asimovsideburns:

keplerbi:

a concept

Steve Rogers, who has recently woken up in the twenty-first century, googles “advice for the modern era” and accidentally discovers My Brother, My Brother and Me.

“We asked you to send in questions related to World War II and Superheroes, because this week our special guestspert is… Captain America??? How did we get Captain America on the show???”

“Please, call me Steve.”

“I legally don’t think I can do that, sorry.”

G: Rogers, can I call you Rogers, Rogers? 

S: …Do you want to?

G: –NO!!! Fuck. Oh shit, I said fuck in front of Mister Captain Rogers, FUCK

S: Oh, can we swear on the radio now? Thank Christ, it’s about fucking time. 

J: we’re….*gurgling* we’re not on the radio, exactly

T: Captain Mister Rogers Captain Sir could you say bad words again so I could keep it as my ringtone? 

S: Sure thing, pal. *pause as he leans in real close to the mic* …Shit. 

G: *audibly clutching his entire face* Oh My God We’ve Corrupted Captain America

S: I know of a few people who might say they had a hand in it too

G: Sam The Eagle Is Going To Fly Down And Strangle Us With an American Flag

T: Isn’t Sam the Eagle a muppet? 

S: I know that reference! Little known fact, ‘Sam the Eagle’ is what we call the Falcon when he’s grumpy.

G: *audibly falls off his chair* 

protagonistfinn:

honestly, marvel will never swerve me as hard as they did when they seamlessly transitioned from “happy peter getting ready to pick up his homecoming date” to “holy fuck its the vulture he’s liz’s dad peter’s gonna fucking die”

dearprongs:

so basically nagini

  • is a korean woman who has her identity surpressed at literally the same time of the rise of fascism and when koreans lost their country to imperial japan
  • ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  • suffers from a curse that is ONLY passed through women
  • had a piece of a man’s soul forced inside of her
  • has become completely submissive to this same man
  • have we all forgotten that wormtail MILKED nagini to feed voldemort jshdjahsjdaj
  • eventually gets beheaded by a teenager
  • what the hell was going on when nagini was in bathilda’s rotten body
  • so when harry saw nagini attack arthtur in OoTP because voldemort possessed her, nagini had voldemort’s consciousness, harry’s consciousness, nagini’s human consciousness, voldemort’s horcrux and her snake brain all inside her ??????
  • what kind of snakeception
  • an asian woman who eventually ends up a white man’s slave pet and kills human beings at his will (”nagini, feed.” ??)
  • nagini is a korean woman with an indian name who eventually turns into an albanian snake 🙂
  • “i’ve been keeping this for 20 years” says JKR yeah so is the tidbit that you shared about wizards relieving themselves anywhere and just vanishing the evidence